BELTWAY MIRROR PLAYBOOK — WEST WING SPIN ROOM
How the White House is handling Waddle-Gate.
DRIVING THE DAY:
Inside the West Wing, aides are scrambling to project calm after the Supreme Court's ruling in Waddle v. United States — a decision senior officials privately describe as "an avoidable poultry-related jurisprudential event."
THE SPIN:
White House Communications Director Marissa Feldman convened a 7:15 a.m. rapid-response call instructing staff to:
- "Avoid any phrasing that suggests the President's authority was questioned by a bird."
- "Use the term 'ceremonial tradition rooted in bipartisan goodwill' at least once per interview."
- "Decline to comment on Gobble retaining Andrew Weissmann unless directly pressed."
One participant on the call described the tone as "like when the pardoned turkey escapes during the photo op. Panic, but polite panic."
THE LINE THEY'RE PUSHING:
"This ruling reaffirms a longstanding American tradition and protects the dignity of the holiday."
THE LINE THEY'RE AVOIDING:
"Why was DOJ prepared to litigate against two turkeys?"
TRUMP'S REACTION:
When briefed on the opinion, the President reportedly paused, nodded slowly, and said:
"Well… the Court finally did something bipartisan. Everybody likes the turkeys."
BEHIND THE SCENES:
Aides are quietly relieved the Court upheld the pardons; one senior official confided that planning was already underway for "Waddle & Gobble—The Farewell Tour" to help soften economic headlines going into the holiday season.
No final decision has been made.
WHAT WE'RE WATCHING:
Congressional reaction to the Supreme Court ruling is breaking along unexpected lines. Senate Judiciary Chair Dick Durbin praised the decision as 'a modest but necessary safeguard of executive tradition,' while progressive firebrands called for a deeper inquiry into 'structural poultry privilege.'
THE NUMBERS:
- 6-3: The Supreme Court vote breakdown
- 47: Years since the modern turkey pardon tradition began
- 2: Birds whose legal status captivated a nation
- ∞: Times "Big Turkey" has been mentioned on cable news today
WHAT HAPPENED OVERNIGHT:
Washington woke up to a constitutional scramble after a late-night ruling from Judge Linda Rhodes of the Western District of Washington vacated the presidential pardons of Waddle and Gobble — the pair of Thanksgiving turkeys spared in Tuesday's Rose Garden ceremony.
The Rhodes ruling is already being described on the Hill as "Hamdan v. Rumsfeld, but for poultry."
White House aides were reportedly stunned, with one official telling Playbook:
"No one had Article II poultry vulnerabilities on their bingo card this year."
WHAT WE KNOW:
- The Biden-appointed judge alleged "a pattern of executive favoritism toward poultry with elite connections."
- Rhodes declared the pardons "procedurally defective," citing "inadequate notice to interested agricultural stakeholders."
- Waddle and Gobble were transported under cover of night to an undisclosed USDA facility "for their own safety," according to a DOJ spokesperson.
WHAT WE DON'T KNOW:
- Whether DOJ will appeal (sources split; one calls the case a "barnyard grenade").
- Whether the ruling applies retroactively to prior turkey pardons.
- Why Gobble has retained former federal prosecutor Andrew Weissmann as counsel.
HILL BUZZ:
House Republicans say they are drafting emergency legislation clarifying that the presidential pardon power "extends to all warm-blooded beings, regardless of capacity for flight."
Progressives, meanwhile, are calling for a broader inquiry into "poultry privilege."